Yesterday due to my depression and how I'm acting lately which reflected on me negatively , my mum called me and she was really worried about me and asked me to see a psychologist, she kept asking me to do so for a long time and I didn't do it because I wasn't convinced ; but yesterday and after an incident at work and my Boss telling me that I'm not acting myself lately I called the psychologist and booked for a session , and guess what ! I couldn't even say one full sentence without a stater ; I was really nervous . Dr.Cyn replied that apparently I'm having depression and its increasing due to my father's loss, though she can't give me any actual diagnoses unless she talks with me. So, I'm starting with her and next week Sunday she'll be giving me my actual results. I have to admit; I didn't know how to express my sadness and the pressure I've been under for the last couple of years along with what I faced during the recovering process after my operation and how all of that pushed me to the cliff, along with all responsibilities I have and how I can't show my weakness ; all made me commit a number of actions just to get rid of what I'm feeling though it doesn't fix what's damaged at all. aaah I feel lost and friendless too, facing the unknown alone,,I hate what I feel right now and I don't know why I'm doing lots of stupid things,,my mum told me getting pretty things won't heal your wounds and its Ok to ask someone to help you if you feel you can't ask me to help you..
I wish I'm doing the right thing..
wish me luck
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