I Don't Want to Live in The Moon ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WsXtCPE7Ww&feature=related

Today was like a Flashback day of my childhood,,I was searching in Youtube when by sudden I found this lovely song which I remember from the Sesame street show..I was 5 or 6 when I saw this song and I do remember how much I loved it ,,,somehow that song brought my tears up..
I wish I'm 5 again ,,wearing my little red dress and singing in the living room until my mum ask me to stop it because she can't concentrate ...how lovely our childhood was..
enjoy the video ,,good night and sweet dreams all
GN

Ms.Harley

Hellooo...
Ms.Harley = me , is getting ready to go out in a ride with her brother in their Harley Davidson with her Latest Helmet which she has as a gift :D ... I'm soooo happy it really made my day . And I believe that I won't go anywhere without my new helmet and no riding Harley anymore without the new helmet :)
You can check my helmet out , I did attache it ,,G2g now my harley is calling ,,,,,,,,

Full with action

Yesterday was a long day for me, I slept at 3:45 am and at 5:30am our house maid woke me up to tell me that they other house maid disappeared ! I was very tired and I couldn't understand what she was saying; I thought she was telling me she died , so I grabed my robe and left my bedroom to check her when I discovered she ran away! I called her and her mobile was off! So I waited until 10 am and told my brother to start taking the required action in such cases. My mum is really upset and I've nothing to do, that was the first event of today, around 5 pm she sent me a msg to clarify why she ran and her justification was very silly and I just ignored her. At 10 we heard that a young relative passed away in a car accident , and at 1 am my brother went back to US. Now its 4 am something and I didn't sleep yet, I'm very tired and this Blackberry is giving me hard time whenever I try to write something in my blog. Anyway forgive me for any unintentional mistakes ( typing ones) because it doesn't show what I've written previously so I can correct it.
I'll pray then sleep . GN bloggers .

What next !

Yesterday due to my depression and how I'm acting lately which reflected on me negatively , my mum called me and she was really worried about me and asked me to see a psychologist, she kept asking me to do so for a long time and I didn't do it because I wasn't convinced ; but yesterday and after an incident at work and my Boss telling me that I'm not acting myself lately I called the psychologist and booked for a session , and guess what ! I couldn't even say one full sentence without a stater ; I was really nervous . Dr.Cyn replied that apparently I'm having depression and its increasing due to my father's loss, though she can't give me any actual diagnoses unless she talks with me. So, I'm starting with her and next week Sunday she'll be giving me my actual results. I have to admit; I didn't know how to express my sadness and the pressure I've been under for the last couple of years along with what I faced during the recovering process after my operation and how all of that pushed me to the cliff, along with all responsibilities I have and how I can't show my weakness ; all made me commit a number of actions just to get rid of what I'm feeling though it doesn't fix what's damaged at all. aaah I feel lost and friendless too, facing the unknown alone,,I hate what I feel right now and I don't know why I'm doing lots of stupid things,,my mum told me getting pretty things won't heal your wounds and its Ok to ask someone to help you if you feel you can't ask me to help you..
I wish I'm doing the right thing..
wish me luck

Father

Daddy, I just can’t hold my tears, I can’t stop them ; they are falling and I wish they are washing or taking my pain away .I still find it difficult to process that you just left and you are not around anymore ,,I need you daddy every morning I need you, with every advice
With everything you taught me. Last night I remembered how you taught me using the gun, the bullets, how to clean it and how to hold it to not harm my shoulder ..
I still feeling your hands over my hand and shoulder while you are teaching me ,,as much I was nervous when you were teaching as much I miss this touch now.
Daddy, I need you , this is bigger than me and I still struggle to believe it. I need you , I need to be weak at least for once, once without someone asking me to be tougher than
Always, why they forget I’m a person ,;human who has feelings and feels the loss too.
Wish things were different I wouldn’t feel I’m jeopardizing my health and my life because I have to keep it all inside and never let it show..
I just miss you dad more than ever , and wish you feel me and hear me ,
Your daughter
J

Good morning

Its 6:45 am and I'm getting ready to go to work ; just to have another boring day at work, as you see lately I can't find anything interesting . I woke up at 5:00 am though I slept late, I was chatting with one of my friends , she was the birthday girl, she was sparking and shinning since yesterday morning and I felt she's really enjoying her day, and somehow I wished I can feel the same and just to get rid of everything makes me sad. Two days ago I couldn't bare staying at work , so I returned home at 11 am or may be earlier I can't remember exactly, I felt I don't wanna talk to anyone and I'm not welcoming any kinda chat with anyone. Once I got into my room before I even change my cloths I opened my closet and I got rid of most of my cloths , I almost have an empty closet now, all to the charity foundation I don't want them ; even my shoes most of them are new, I felt I don't want them and they just carry awful and sad memories and I don't wanna feel I'm sorrounded with such ,,
Actually I feel very sad and I'm afraid I'm breaking down because I have no one no one by my side ..
Anyway, I g2g now otherwise I'll be late to work
Have a good day

Enough

Have you ever feel you've had enough of pretending that everything is ok and fine ; while its not,,I reached this level where I feel I'm literally alone and nobody with me that really understands me !
Even the ones I thought my friends they disappointed me more than anyone else .. Today and the last couple of days I was and still shutting down everyone and all doors because I've had enough, I didn't leave my room at all unless to go to work or because mum is calling to see me , so I just spend couple of minutes with her and I don't even say a word then get back to my room. I can't even stand the light, I just sit in the dark listening to my thoughts ,, I'm getting crazy I know , I just need a break of everyone everyone, I've had enough disappointments and frustrations
Good night bloggers

I Need Good Luck

I’ve been working on some kinda project, and since last Sunday and I knew somehow how they are reacting towards it, they’ve been talking about the possibility of me to accomplish it , so far everything is going fine and in the right track, but I’m a bit worried regarding the final stage to close it and release the announcement …
I’m praying that everything goes well as it started well too..
Wish me luck

One of these days

I know it been a while since I blogged, sorry for being away due to my sickness , actually for the zillion time my physician asking me to see a shrink; and for the first time I'm convenced that I have too and I really need him/her to help me ,,I'm having one of these days where you feel down and not in talking mood to anyone, unfortunately even my best friend disappointed me . I'm the one who's looking for her and trying to keep in touch with her, but I'm not gonna do this anymore. I've taken the initatives more than the situation can take ; I'm not gonna give more excuses and more attention I think and believe I deserve to be a bit selfish and think of myself and only myself ,, I'm done with you ppl
Anyway, sorry for spoiling your mood whomever reading; its just one of these day! ,,
Good night bloggers