Fever, Fever , Fever , and FEVER

OMG I'm really very sick, you can't believe how weak and sick I feel, I've been trying to pull my legs just to reach the bathroom , my sickness doesn't give me pelanty of room to help myself aughh ,, I hate this , anyway I just knew that my workmate's granpa passed away and I really wanted to visit her but due to my sickness I don't believe I'm capable to do so, so I called her couple of times and she noticed that I can't even talk over the phone and I've got no voice @ all ,, so she asked me to just take rest and take care of my health ! I really respect that but in the same time I wish I was able to visit her , but because of the fever thingi which doesn't leave me for couple of hours without starting again I can't , the minimum effort I make the more sick I become ,,
I wish I get better soon and I hope my friend is holding on pretty well ,, thx bloggers
Good night all xoxo

Sick

For the zillion time I'm sick again ,, I've got kinda virus which made me really sick,,Right now I'm the waiting zone just wanna get there and take my meds and get into my bed ,, I'm having fever since last night :( poor me ...
Today is different, I'm not going to work + I'm sick + I'll spend the day with my mom :D that sound cool hehehehehe
Anyway gotta go they are calling my name ,, here I'm coming Dr.Hazeeeeeem
Bye bloggers xoxo

Leave Right Now.......

I'm here,,just like I said
though its breaking every rule I've ever made
my racing heart,,is just the same
why make it strong to break it once again?
& I'd love to say I do,,give everything to you
but I can never now be true ,,so I say

I think I'd better leave right now,, before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now, feeling weaker and weaker
somebody better show me how, before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now...

I'm here,,so please explain
why you're opening up a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful, perhaps it shows
but if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows

Now I tremble in your arms
what could be the harm
to feel my spirit calm,,so I say
I think I'd better leave right now ....

I wouldn't know how to say,,how good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back,,now you say your right on track
but you may never know why, once bitten twice is shy
if I'm proud perhaps I should explain
I couldn't bear to loose you again ...

I think I'd better leave right now...



by : will young

Missing You ...

I miss Missing You ,,,
sometimes I'm just missing , missing you ,,,
to everyone I miss ,,I do really miss you ,,
Daddy ,,I miss you soo much though I can't do anything ; I just can't help it
to my dear friends I do miss you sooo much , more than you can imagine ,,
Dear Sozo, thanks for being my best friend and soulmate too,, I miss you
regardless how I feel , Life goes on, and I have to move on too,,
believe it or not ; I do miss you

have a lovely day bloggers, be by your friends & lovers side all the time
B'bye ;)

Notice!!!

Haven't you ever notice that I only write when I'm very upset or depressed! ,, before I start writing this blog,I went through all my previous entries ; and guess what LOL I was very very sad in each one, and really frustrated and depressed. A common thing is " whenever I'm depressed or sad, I can't sleep at all" . No wonder from where the puffy eyes hahaha.. Anyway, I'm in my bed, I got back early today to spend most of my time with mummy because she's alone and now I feel really sleepy, so I'll have a nap
Catch You later
B'bye bloggers ;)

Busy!

I'm getting myself involved in everything to be busy all the time, so, as a start I'm reading Love ,Rosie Novel for the 3rd time LOL,, I love it and I can't resist it , doing the grocery, searching for the best plasma screen to get,, umm what else?? let'me think ,,,,
yeah, sitting my nephew , and in personal level , swimming, I got back to the GYM, watching tons of cartoons just to cheer myself up ,,and chatting with my friends when I feel I'm in chatting mood,,Hopefully I'll overcome this stage with the minimum number of damages.
wish me Luck ,,
B'bye bloggers

Soooo MEAN ...

Regardless how sad I feel, I'm acting mean lately with everyone,,kicking ppl from my life, I've had enough ,,I need to take care of my mom nothing more than that, right now she's the most important person in my life,, she's the only one who tried hard to comfort me though I didn't even give her a tiny chance to notice how sad I am ...
I had one friend, whom I thought I can share everything with after my best friend Sozo, But this who was my friend; disappointed me the most ; more than anyone else...
I thought being a best friend means " we are together no matter what, supporting and helping each other", it's pretty difficult when you keep supporting your friends and you don't receive this support back when you really need it , when you really need a shoulder to cry over, a friend who listens to you when you feel you can't express your feelings to anyone else..
I gave a number of chances and I believe I was more than stupid because I did, I shall learned from my history ..anyway, I won't regret it, it's just another lesson to not trust nor be by someone's side while they don't deserve it ,,
the bottom line is I AM ACTING MEAN AND I CAN'T FORGIVE ANYONE RIGHT NOW AND I DON'T WANT TOO..
I don't want my madness to push my mom away from me ,,she's my beating heart at the moment ..May Allah bless her and gives her health and happiness which change her life
Amen
Good night bloggers

I need you in my life

Daddy ,, daddy ,, I miss you soo much
Daddy I need you in my life , I can't face today nor tomorrow without you ,,
I had a panick attack because I don't want them to move a single thing of your stuff ,, I don't wanna believe that you left me already ,, and I don't want or maybe I can't process the current situation ,, I just want you back to my life
I wanna be me again with you ,, daddy
I need you ,, I need you more than ever daddy
With love
Your daughter

….Then he said Goodbye

I’m experiencing the most difficult times ever in my life these days, have you ever woke up and discover that your life
Has been turned upside down ?...... Yes that’s me ,,
Just couple of days ago I had a father but not anymore ,,, I was under his wing no matter how hard he was at me , still I was
Safe under his wing ,,but not anymore ,,,
Somehow , I wish its only a dream and I’ll wake up in any moment ,, I missed many things and I’ll be missing more important things
That I’d love to have it with my dad presence ,,
I’ve been thinking this morning, how can I get married without my dad ? how can I have my first kid named after him and without him in my life?
How can I face life, people and myself without my dad in my life??
Dad I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you and I’m really sorry for each time you directed me to do something and I got mad ,, I’m really sorry
That I wasn’t thankful enough for you to have me in this life,,I’m very sorry I did lots of things I’m sure they wouldn’t satisfy you ,,
I’m really sorry for this guilt feeling, loneliness that increases every day, my sadness would cover the whole world if I released it ,,
Dad,, I don’t know how to live without you ,,how to be strong again ,,how to move forward without you next to me
I promise to accomplish all your dreams that you had to me , and the faith you had on me ,,I’ll keep it and make sure to never disappoint you
I wish you left while you are proud of me ,,,dad
Dad,,a word I’ll miss it the rest of my life,,dad I’m broken without you
With love
Your daughter