Father

Daddy, I just can’t hold my tears, I can’t stop them ; they are falling and I wish they are washing or taking my pain away .I still find it difficult to process that you just left and you are not around anymore ,,I need you daddy every morning I need you, with every advice
With everything you taught me. Last night I remembered how you taught me using the gun, the bullets, how to clean it and how to hold it to not harm my shoulder ..
I still feeling your hands over my hand and shoulder while you are teaching me ,,as much I was nervous when you were teaching as much I miss this touch now.
Daddy, I need you , this is bigger than me and I still struggle to believe it. I need you , I need to be weak at least for once, once without someone asking me to be tougher than
Always, why they forget I’m a person ,;human who has feelings and feels the loss too.
Wish things were different I wouldn’t feel I’m jeopardizing my health and my life because I have to keep it all inside and never let it show..
I just miss you dad more than ever , and wish you feel me and hear me ,
Your daughter
J