I miss K

Last night and today have lots of tragedy, K left me I can’t believe that he’s not coming to my room anymore!. Before he leaves, he said “do you want me to carry you ?” just like when I left the hospital after my operation. Oh my God, I couldn’t stop crying and I can’t too. My mum was trying her best to comfort me when she felt I’m breaking down and I can’t stand it. I’m getting over sensitive and I don’t know why, I was tougher when my bro Youyou left I did cry but not as much as I did last night and today.
I wish I have wings so I can just fly to them and be with them, it’s very hard feeling there’s no male by your side to protect you, yes they are younger than me and I’m the oldest though I feel we still close to each other and we still kids and we didn’t grow up yet. With my Dad distance and my brothers aren’t here; I feel not existed and alone very alone.
I used to think “whenever I fall K will pick me up; whenever I cry Youyou will take my tears, but now, none of them is by my side; I feel they all left me and I’m again alone. It’s not about needing someone to look after me but having brothers like mine is very rare.
Our cousin, A spent the night here with us, whenever I see his pictures with K I start crying, they were like twins no one can split them and now they are splitting. I asked him to not leave me, not because K left me he stop dropping by and visiting us like usual , I couldn’t hold my tears and I cried and he cried too, he said I can’t do it you are my oldest sis and nothing gonna change this fact. Even that didn’t change the fact he’s not K and K left me.
Tip of today: don’t cry that much when someone leaves you, eventually they will return back to you. Always try to be next to your brothers and they will be next to you; especially when you need them. Don’t let your sadness changes anything in your soul or heart
Sweet dreams bloggers, good night